Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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