Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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