I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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