I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
