@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
