how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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