I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
