College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
