he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
