Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
