And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize