Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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