I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I didn't notice because vodka
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize