If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
