Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
