nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
