how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
