Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I want her autograph on my taint
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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