I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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