Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
