it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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