So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize