put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
