i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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