PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
from now on my penis is your penis
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
