Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
