He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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