I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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