all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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