i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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