and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
