I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
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