ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
