walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize