You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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