she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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