cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
