you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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