Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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