U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
