How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
