just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The uberlube is also flammable
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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