I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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