laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
