Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
