No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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