ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
