This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Only a mothe r could love this liver
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
