last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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