maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Are my feet made of real feet?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
