i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
