I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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