Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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