white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
