I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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