I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
