I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Drunk is not a location!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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