I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's never too late to be topless.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
