Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
