Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hippo gnu deer
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
